


between the lines

by xiuchenlay



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Based on Jongdae’s pathcode teaser, Feelings, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Light Angst, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), My OTP, Pathcode (EXO), Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiuchenlay/pseuds/xiuchenlay
Summary: Rebuilding a life is always hard, but at least Jongdae has Luhan by his side (and in his thoughts).
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Lu Han
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32
Collections: Challenge #12 — EXO's Universe





	between the lines

_“Where are you?”_ comes a sleepy voice in Luhan’s consciousness. Luhan can feel Jongdae’s poorly concealed anxiety through their mental link. Having just awoken, Jongdae hasn’t had the time to put up the usual barriers surrounding his mind. 

It’s frightening to have someone have access to your mind like that, Luhan thinks, especially for someone so closed off as Jongdae is. In the beginning, Jongdae struggled with it. He became a ball of nerves at the thought that any moment, Luhan could catch a glimpse of what he tries to keep buried deep. Eventually he realized that he could trust Luhan. Luhan wouldn’t take advantage of him like that.

 _“At the grocery store,”_ Luhan replies, perusing the cereal boxes in front of him, and soothing the worry Jongdae was feeling. 

He feels Jongdae relax.

 _“Pick me up some of that chocolate cereal. We’re out,”_ Jongdae says.

Luhan rolls his eyes to himself.

 _“We’re out because your fat ass ate the whole box yesterday.”_ Nonetheless, he grabs two boxes off the shelf. He bites back a smile at the annoyance growing in Jongdae from the jab. A few childish insults are thrown his way but he mostly ignores them to keep from laughing out loud. 

He lingers in the aisle, wondering if he should try out something new. In the end, he adds a third box to his basket and heads to the cash.

__

Jongdae anxiously counts the minutes until Luhan’s return, watching the digital clock on their bedside table. The grocery store they frequent is around fifteen minutes away, so he should be home soon. The fact comforts him. 

He didn’t used to be this way. Feeling the bed empty beside him didn’t used to make his stomach drop in fear. Sometimes he can hardly remember what his life was like before. Back when all twelve of them were together, they didn’t live in fear. Not like they do now. 

Then, the Red Force found them and they were forced into hiding all across the world. He and Luhan managed to escape to Almaty where they found a lowkey apartment on the top floor of an abandoned library. The landlords never asked where they came from and they paid them double in thanks. 

It’s nothing luxurious and they have to share a bed but it’s home now. It’s safe...enough.

(He hopes)

Jongdae has managed to chew his thumb bloody by the time Luhan walks in.

“Hey, I bought the little candies you like. They were on sale!” Luhan exclaims while toeing his shoes off.

“I thought I was a fat ass.” Jongdae can’t help but quip, hiding his thumb from view.

“You are. If we ever run out of money, it will be because we spent it all trying to maintain your ridiculous metabolism.” 

It isn’t far from the truth. All twelve of them require more food than the average human but Jongdae blew through their groceries like there was no tomorrow. The scientists back home suspected it had something to do with the lightning in him. His body requires more energy to sustain the fact that he is a living, breathing battery.

“Well _sorry_ for not wanting to starve to death.” he rolls his eyes, standing from the bed and heading for the bathroom to take his morning shower. 

Fingers curl around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He raises his eyes in surprise to meet Luhan’s.

“I’m sorry for not warning you...this morning.” Luhan’s voice is soft, the tilt of his brows apologetic. He thumbs over the pulse in Jongdae’s wrist.

Jongdae’s throat feels thick with emotion. A pause, too long for Jongdae’s comfort. He clears his throat. 

“Don’t worry about it.” And then he’s pulling away and shutting the door behind him. He’s shaking when he sets the water as cold as it can get. 

Beneath the spray of frigid water, he almost feels like he can breathe. 

__

Jongdae is thankful for the abandoned library their apartment sits on. It gives him something to do, something to keep his mind off of things. If he isn’t in their apartment, Luhan can find him on the rooftop, nose deep in a book. 

He finds him like that one afternoon, curled up on the bench that sits on the far end. Jongdae doesn’t raise his eyes from the page as he shifts to make room for him. Luhan takes the implicit invitation and sits beside him. After a moment of deliberation, he puts his arm around Jongdae’s shoulder. 

Jongdae is warm, a comforting presence and Luhan holds him close.

“I spoke to Minseok,” is what Luhan breaks the silence with. Jongdae lifts his head from where it was resting on Luhan’s shoulder. “He misses you.”

Sadness fills Jongdae’s chest. He wishes he could speak to his best friend like Luhan could. It’s been so long since he heard his voice. 

“Tell him I miss my favourite hyung next time you talk to him.” His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

 _“Hey—_ then what the hell am I?” Luhan attempts to joke but suddenly Jongdae is cupping his cheek and leaning in. 

“You’re different.” 

Jongdae’s so close, Luhan can count every one of his long lashes. He looks beautiful, Luhan thinks, has always thought.

“How?” He asks, voice a whisper. 

He isn’t expecting Jongdae to lean in and kiss him. The kiss is brief, tender but it makes his breath hitch and his stomach swoop. 

“You just are,” Jongdae says when they part, running his thumb along the scar on Luhan’s bottom lip.

Different? Luhan will take that. 

He kisses Jongdae just because he can, because he’s always wanted to, even before they were forced into hiding, because, because…

Because, even though they aren't sure when they'll see everyone again, having Jongdae by his side is enough for him to find the strength to see this through. 

And maybe this isn't the way he imagined kissing Jongdae for the first time, but it's perfect anyways. 


End file.
